"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."
- Vladimir Nabakov

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

[Old People Are Not Scary Anymore]

I used to be afraid of old people.

Old people smell funny. Their declining health is an all-too apparent testament to our human impermanence. Not to mention that they are often crabby, hard of hearing, hard to understand, and endlessly reminiscent of the past. Anymore, though, I don't mind old people. Old age is too far away for me to fear in any kind of meaningful way.

Now I am afraid of middle-aged people.

Because, you know, middle-age and its own particular set of horrors is just TOO DAMN CLOSE.
Getting wrinkles, getting fat, raising kids, saving for retirement, going to bed at 9 so you can be at work at 9 the next day. They cover up their tattoos and try to forget about their college days. It all sounds so boring, so mundane, so frightening in its very anomaly to the life I know now.

I just saw a couple pushing a stroller of twins. The children were fighting and their middle-aged parents looked harried and worn.

 I think I'm going to go out with some friends now, drink and dance and stay out till 3 am, sleep till 12, and do it again the next night. I think I'll get a tattoo while its still acceptable to show it, and I'll blast my grunge and post-grunge rock from my headphones. I think I'll run and stay active while my legs still work properly, before I hear the tell-tale aches and feel the tell-tale pains of middle-age. I pledge not to start saving for retirement yet, not to contemplate my future too much, and not to have kids for another few years at least! I pledge to have fun while I still can.

Because, you know, you're only young once.

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